It’s 2021. We made it.

I say this with much seriousness, this past year put all of us through the wringer. And yet you’re still here continuing to adapt, grow, and face everything thrown at you! This has not been an easy feat, especially considering all the loss, hardship, heartbreak, stress, and worry brought about both by the pandemic and by simply being a human in today’s world. Whether it was your worst year ever or your best year ever, it’s safe to say that 2020 presented you with plenty of unique challenges. You’ve undoubtedly done some very hard things, and for that, you should be proud.

That being said, I don’t know about you, but I spent a large part of the past year in a sort of “survival mode.” I don’t mean this literally, as I’ve had the privilege of better-than-average housing and finances, the blessing of great physical health, and the support of a loving group of friends and family.

What I do mean is that for the past several months, I’ve felt mentally and emotionally “stuck in a rut.”

At the very beginning of the COVID lockdown, I wanted to use the time at home to improve my life and pursue my goals, which I was really good at….for a couple of months.

But then I quickly found one day melting into the next, and then days turned into weeks and months. As the weeks went on, I was increasingly filling my days with more Netflix, more social media scrolling, and other forms of “escaping” rather than going about the day with any purpose.

Each day began to feel like Groundhog Day (or being trapped in a time loop that forced me to relive the same day over and over). Each night I would tell myself “tomorrow I will do the thing” and each morning, I woke up knowing deep down that I wouldn’t actually do what I had mentally planned.

Can you relate?

Although many of us spent the past several months wishing for 2020 to just go away, the reality is that changing the year has not changed (and will not change) our current circumstances – we have to do that ourselves! So if you’ve been stuck in a bit of a rut and are trying to find a way out, I want to help you get started by sharing a few steps that helped me.

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Realize You’ve Gotten “Stuck” and Don’t Beat Yourself Up

I hesitate to even use the phrase “stuck in a rut” because being “stuck” is really just a matter of your thoughts causing you to feel that way. Obviously, we are not literally stuck in a physical rut. But for simplicity’s sake, I’ll stick with the phrase.

The first step to getting out of a “rut” is recognizing you’re in one. Some of the signs of “being stuck” include:

Feeling like each day is the same, boring experience,
Repeating the same actions every day and expecting different results,
Thought-looping, overthinking, or being “stuck in your head,”
Thinking you’ve “fallen off the wagon” or that you’re “going backward” in life,
Feeling overly anxious or depressed,
Telling yourself you’ve “wasted” the past days/weeks/months,
The sense that you’re simply going through the motions,
Starting the day without a plan or goal,
Thinking you’ve failed,
Asking yourself “what’s the point?”,
Overeating, overdrinking, watching more tv, spending hours on social media daily,
You’ve given up or stopped trying to make positive changes in your life.

Do any of these thoughts or feelings resonate with you? If so, don’t fret, and DO NOT beat yourself up. You have not done anything wrong.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve spent the last 12 months eating McDonald’s, day drinking, complaining about everything, bingeing tv series, or simply trying to make it through to tomorrow. It doesn’t matter because you can ALWAYS recommit to living a life you’re proud of. You can always pull yourself out of that rut and recommit to your goals and dreams.

Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of thinking that you’ve gone “backward” or “fell off the wagon.” I told myself this for a long time – I felt like it was too late to try again or that I’d already failed and “went backward” in life.

Good news – you actually can’t go backward or fall of the wagon, it’s literally impossible.

Nothing you do will erase the progress you’ve already made and what you’ve accomplished up to this point. Think about it, even if you lost 50 pounds before COVID and now you’ve gained the weight back, you’ve already proven to yourself that you can lose the weight in the first place. Your thoughts and your mind have already evolved and you now have evidence to support what was once only an impossible goal. There is no way to undo that growth! And if you can do it once, you can do it again.

So, for starters, realize you’ve only temporarily lost sight of the way you truly want to live, commit to striving for that life again, resist the urge to beat yourself up about “getting off track,” and don’t overwhelm yourself with thoughts about having “wasted time” or “done it wrong.”

You don’t have to be perfect. Just decide to recommit to your goals and dream life now and don’t look back.

NOTE: There’s a difference between feeling the emotions of anxiety or depression in the short term, and being diagnosed with a mental health disorder or experiencing a mental health crisis. If you feel like things in your life are getting out of control, or you think you might need some help, reach out to a professional. You can also call 1-800-273-8255, or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ to chat online for support 24/7.

Check Your Thoughts

Like most anything, getting out of a rut requires you to be aware of your mind and your thoughts. Your mindset is where everything begins. Your thoughts cause your emotions, and your emotions lead you to make certain decisions, and those decisions are what make up your daily life (and cause you to either create results you want or ones you don’t want).

If you’ve been thinking mostly stressful, negative, unhelpful, or depressing thoughts for the past several months, it’s likely you haven’t been feeling great emotions or seeing great results. And it’s really easy to let this spiral into a cycle of negative thoughts, emotions, and outcomes. To break this cycle and pull yourself out of the rut, you want to start thinking more helpful thoughts. I know, this is easier said than done and it takes constant practice, but trust me, it’s worth it.

To change your thoughts:

Start to observe what you’re thinking. Consciously pay attention to your thoughts and view them without judgment.
Write down your most reoccurring thoughts. Once you see them on paper, you may begin to realize just how big of an impact your thoughts are having on your feelings and your life.
Analyze the thoughts you’ve written down and determine what emotion each thought is causing you to feel. Every thought you have will cause you to feel some type of emotion – name it.
Pick one thought that seems to be the most damaging – what thought is creating the most negative emotion or derailing you from the life you want to live?
Work on changing that thought by brainstorming more helpful thoughts and practicing them until you believe them.

You may be wondering: How do I create and believe new thoughts? Let me give you an example of how I began changing my own thoughts when I was feeling in a bit of a rut.

Once I was paying attention to my thoughts, I observed that a lot of them related to being “stuck.” Some of these thoughts included:

“I want to work on my goals, but I have no motivation.”
“I keep repeating the day over and over.”
“I’m stuck in a rut.”
“There’s nothing I can do to get back on track”

Not only were these thoughts not true, they simply were not helpful. When I wrote down these thoughts, I noticed that the main emotions I felt were “helpless,” “trapped,” and “overwhelmed.”

In order to change these thoughts, I chose the one that was most derailing for me which was “there’s nothing I can do to get back on track.” I brainstormed a list of thoughts that made me feel more positive or productive emotions. The new thought I began practicing was “there might be a way for me to get back on track.” This thought causes me to feel the emotion of “hopeful.” I started with this specific thought because choosing something like “I’m already back on track!” didn’t feel true to me – I didn’t believe it. You want to make sure you can actually believe the thought you’re practicing, then once you do, you can take it to the next level.

Now it’s your turn, start observing the thoughts you have and then write them down. Don’t judge yourself if your thoughts are less-than-helpful – the only thing worse than having a negative thought is punishing or shaming yourself for having it! If your thought is something like “I’m stuck in a rut,” what emotion does that cause you to feel? Write it down.

Next, brainstorm some thoughts you’d like to have. If it’s hard to come up with thoughts that you believe are helpful, start with writing down the emotions you’d like to feel. What thoughts would lead to your desired emotion?

Once you’ve chosen more helpful thoughts, start practicing them every day. Write them down and read them each morning and evening. Soon, you’ll start to notice a change and then you can start working on creating even more productive thoughts!

Set a Goal

Once you’ve committed to changing your mindset, and practicing new supportive thoughts, the next best thing you can do to get out of a rut is to set a goal. Goals give you something positive/productive to focus on, they allow you to structure your day with purpose, and they distract you from obsessive thinking and negative escape tactics which dig you deeper into the “rut.”

The goal can be in any area of your life – mental health, physical health, career, finance, travel, etc. Think of something you’ve always wanted to accomplish and set a goal to accomplish it in the next several months or the next year. If nothing comes to mind, brainstorm a list of things that you would do if anything were possible. Pick the thing that will bring you closer to the life you’d like to live and commit to taking action to achieve it.

Then…

Create a Plan and Stick to It

Having a schedule or a plan is perhaps the best way to make sure you don’t fall back into a rut or stray from your goal. Create a plan and stick to it. Make it non-negotiable.

Experts in planning suggest you write everything out at least 24 hours in advance. I find that this strategy works well for me, however, if you’re new to planning you likely want to start smaller. Begin by scheduling your most important task the day before. If your goal is to get into better physical shape, you might plan out your workout for the next day and nothing else. If your goal is to start a blog, you might plan to write one article the next day.

Once you’ve gotten into the habit of planning out one task in advance, you can add more things to your schedule. The end goal is to have most, if not all, of your day scheduled out at least 24 hours in advance. Once you’re a pro at planning everything out the day before, you may even want to schedule out your whole week or month beforehand.

Consider Investing In a Life Coach

If you found the information and tips in this article helpful, you may want to consider hiring a life coach. I say this because many of the strategies I write about I learned from my own life coach, Natalie Bacon, in her life coaching membership program Grow You (I highly recommend checking it out, it’s truly changed my life for the better).

A life coach can introduce you to new tools and ideas, and, most importantly, a coach can help you see your own thoughts and help you get un-stuck!

If hiring someone isn’t in your budget, there are plenty of free personal development blogs, podcasts, and books out there for you to take advantage of. The key is to keep taking forward action!

Final Note: Take It One Day At a Time

Feeling like you’re stuck in a rut can be brutal, so you want to make sure you’re not piling on the negativity by beating yourself up about it. Just remember that there’s really no such thing as being “stuck” except that it exists as a thought in your mind, and that you have the power to change your mindset.

Once you realize you’ve been thinking thoughts and taking actions that don’t really support the life you want to be living, give yourself grace and make a plan to move forward. Start implementing the steps in this article one at a time and you will gradually begin making progress toward living your dream life.

How to Get Out of a Rut