When I graduated from law school in 2014, I felt so accomplished and relieved.

 

Three years of some of the hardest work I’d ever done and it was finally paying off.

 

I did not have a care in the world about my financial status or the amount of money I had invested to get me to that point in my life – I was finally a lawyer….well, almost.

 

The next few months of my life were spent tirelessly studying for the bar exam. During this time I rarely left my home or interacted with the outside world, let alone had a single thought about my future or my student loans.

 

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I focused all of my time and effort on passing the bar and, because of this, when I found out I passed in the fall of 2014, I did not have any jobs lined up or any prospects on the horizon. Instead, I thought I deserved some congratulations so booked a trip to Mexico and figured I’d face reality upon my return.

 

And reality is exactly what I faced when I got back.

 

I remember the day I received my student loan disbursement in the mail. I’m not sure what I had expected to find inside that hefty envelope, but I definitely was not anticipating such a shock.

I vividly recall standing at my table, reading my billing statement, and seeing the amount of my monthly payment due – over $1,700!

 

More than a thousand dollars? A month!?

 

I owed the federal government more than $160,000 total through 11 different loans I had taken out for both college and law school.

 

I had always been a “saver” so I did have a bit of cushion to soften the blow of that initial financial punch, but I did not know what I was going to do to make these gigantic payments.

 

What I did know was that my savings account could not endure that type of hit every month without me landing a seriously good job.

 

(Spoiler alert: I did not land a seriously good job).

 

I made my first student loan payment on December 17, 2014. I was still unemployed. It wasn’t until the new year in 2015 when I finally started my first job as a law school graduate.

 

The problem was that my paycheck was less than impressive, and certainly did not feel like enough money to pay rent, buy groceries and even come close to making those monthly loan payments. More importantly, how was I supposed to afford my boxed wine? This was unreasonable.

 

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Thus began my journey through the stages of student loan grief:

 

Denial

“This can’t be right, there’s no way anyone expects me to make a $1,700 loan payment each month!”

“That would be more than half of my paycheck!”

“It can’t be real and if I don’t think about it, it will go away.”

 

 

Anger (and blame)

 

“Ok apparently this expectation is real.”

 

“Why didn’t anyone tell me about this before college/law school!?”

 

“You’re telling me you’re going to hold me accountable for agreements I made when I was 18 and 21 years old? Why did everyone else tell me to take out the maximum amount of loans I qualified for?”

 

“Why didn’t anyone stop me from spending loan refund money on happy hours and other frivolous purchases?”

 

“The government should pay my loans! It’s everyone else’s fault!”

 

Bargaining

 

“Alright, maybe it was partially my fault for taking out all of that money, but I clearly wasn’t fully informed when I did that. We can work something out right?”

 

“Surely I cannot overcome this massive debt in my current financial state. Can I pay less than what I owe?”

 

“Can you, federal government, forgive some of my debt please?”

 

“Can I have a raise, boss? Are you sure?”

 

Depression

 

“Well I may as well just give up now, I will never, EVER get out of debt – $160,000?  May as well be $1 million.”

 

Time to cut out everything fun and joyful in life – I can’t afford it. Time to drive my friends and family nuts by complaining about my debt at every social gathering.”

 

Example of most of my conversations during this stage:

Anyone: Do you want to do ________?

Me: “I can’t, student loans…”

 

 

And finally…

 

Acceptance

When I accepted the gravity of my student loan debt, and the extent of my personal responsibility for it, it was a game changer.

 

I was tired of feeling helpless, like I wasn’t in control of my life (because my debt was).

 

I was tired of that sick feeling I got every time I looked at my bank account versus my student loan accounts.

 

I knew I needed to take action and get myself out of this mess.

 

Here’s what I did:

 

• I truly accepted responsibility.
  

My debt was my problem, nobody else’s. Not the government’s (as much as I wanted it to be) and not my parents’. Nobody forced me to take out those loans.

 

Yes, it was an expectation that I attend college, and even grad school.  And no, I would not have been able to attend without financial assistance.

 

But it was my decision and my responsibility, and MY name on those student loan bills. Nobody was going to step in and make those payments for me.

 

• I learned about personal finance.

   

All I knew about personal finance prior to this point was that I was decent at saving money and I always had enough for what I needed (and wanted).

 

Also, I knew that my parents and family were awesome and supportive and gave me far more financial assistance than what most people have. So I was lucky, and I knew that.

 

I didn’t know anything else.

 

I didn’t understand the very basics about getting my financial life in order. So I started googling and reading a lot. I read personal finance books. I followed finance bloggers. I got educated. I got inspired.

 

I even got excited to get my finances on track and start digging my way out of debt.

 

• I created a budget.

   

As I said, throughout school I always had what I needed and wanted due to the use of my student loan money, part-time jobs, and occasional gifts. I didn’t pay ANY attention to where my money was going.

 

When I finally sat down and tracked the purchases listed in my bank account, I was astounded by the amount of money I was spending. In my law school years I was averaging about $700 a month alone going out to eat! It seemed incredible that I was spending so much without batting an eye. Up to that point I had been completely oblivious to what I spent in any given month.

 

I realized that when I sat down and had a clear picture about where my money was going, it was actually pretty easy to cut down on expenses – I mean I didn’t really need to be eating Chipotle once (or twice) a day.

 

I realized that not only was I spending money on things I didn’t need, but more importantly I was spending on things I didn’t even want.

 

• I was disciplined. Mostly.

   

When I first started paying off my loans, I put every extra penny I made towards them. Sometimes this meant I was paying in over $2,500 a month. At first I didn’t have any particular method, I just paid extra on my overall bill when I could.

 

Then, I read Dave Ramsey’s book Total Money Makeover and learned about the two popular methods to pay off debt. One method is to pay off your debts starting with the loan that is accruing the most interest, then start on the one with the next highest interest. The other, known as the “Debt Snowball Method,” which Dave Ramsey recommends, is to start paying your smallest loan first, then tackle the next smallest and so on.

 

I used a hybrid approach and initially paid off my smallest loan (about $2,000), then my largest loan with the highest interest rate (which totaled over $25,000).

 

You can learn more the method and tactics I used by reading my article 7 Strategies I Used to Pay Off $100,000 in Student Loans.

 

Throughout this time, I began putting A LOT of thought into every single decision I made regarding money. There were material things that I wanted that I went without, and there were a few trips that I sat out on.

 

But surprisingly, even with the major cuts in spending I made, trying to be frugal, and being very conscious about what I spent my money on, I never really felt like I didn’t have what I needed.

 

Admittedly, there were times where I went a little overboard in my frugality – e.g. going back and forth between whether I could “afford” a cup of coffee.

 

But as time went on, I found a balance between depriving myself of what I wanted and spending money on silly, unnecessary items I would probably throw out eventually anyway.

 

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• I saw the sunny side of being in debt (seriously!).

   

As much as I hated being in debt and having to worry about money, I realized that I would have never learned so much about personal finance without having this experience.

 

Whereas before I was blissfully unaware and let others take control of my financial situation, I now have a firm grasp on budgeting, paying off debt and spending money wisely. I know where every dollar I make goes, and that is an amazing feeling to have.

 

In The End…

I would never trade my college or legal education, being educated has opened and will open so many doors for me.

 

And, crazily enough, I even question whether I would change the amount of loans I took out because, without them, I would not be as informed and financially savvy as I am today.

 

I am continuing to diligently pay off my student loan debt and, with fingers crossed, I will have all of my loans paid off by the fall of next year (2020).

 

That would put my loan payoff at about $160,000 in just under six years, which feels like a huge accomplishment.

 

I hope my story will inspire others to look at debt differently and to realize that there is certainly a light at the end of the tunnel!