Have you ever been stuck in a rut? Or felt so disorganized and overwhelmed that, throughout your day, you’re simply trying to keep your head above water?
Where you feel like you’re not accomplishing any of your goals or moving forward? Or it seems like each day is just repeating itself over and over and, at the end of the day, you have no meaningful progress to report?
I’ve definitely had stages in my life where I felt totally stuck, overwhelmed, and unhappy. I had goals, but I just didn’t know where to start to make them happen or how to make any change to improve my circumstances. I felt like a mess!
If this sounds anything like you, check out these 10 strategies you can apply right now to help you “get your life together.”
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1. Take an Inventory
If you’re feeling unhappy, stressed, or overwhelmed with your situation, or you simply want to feel more organized, sit down and write about what areas of your life you’d like to change or improve and why you want to do so.
This could relate to your health, career, finances, friendships, family, romantic relationships, personal development, habits you’d like to quit or develop, etc.
Writing down your thoughts, in itself, will relieve at least some of the overwhelm. The act of writing your thoughts tells your brain it doesn’t have to worry about them at this moment.
And, once you’ve written down all of the areas you’d like to improve on, you will have a clearer picture of which aspects are the most important to you and which goals you should focus on. For more on setting goals that last, see How to Stick With Your New Year’s Resolution – 8 Tips.
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2. Pay Attention to, and Address, Your Mental Health
This is perhaps the most important item on this list.
When I was working as a lawyer, I didn’t do enough to take care of my basic needs, especially when it came to my mental wellness.
Some days I would roll out of bed about 15 minutes before I had to be out the door for work, shower as quickly as possible (if I had time), skip breakfast, and *hopefully* reach my car in time to defrost my windshield before frantically rushing to the office.
I felt crushingly stressed from the moment I woke up until the moment I left the office in the evening. I felt like I was doing just enough to get through the day. I was anxious all the time, which led to feeling depressed and trapped. And it’s not surprising looking back, how could I expect to have any peace during the day when I started each one off with so much chaos?
Mental health is truly ground zero. If your mental health is deteriorating, you can guarantee it will impact all other aspects of your life. If you want to get your life together, you have to start with your mental health. At very least, make sure you do the basics to take care of yourself:
- Exercise even if it’s just 10 minutes a day
- Eat some nutritious food, and don’t skip meals
- Drink more water throughout the day
- Don’t overindulge in stimulants and depressants like caffeine and alcohol
- Get enough sleep
- Shower/brush your teeth/brush your hair (even if you don’t feel like it!)
- Take time off if you need it – your mental health is more important than whatever task you think needs to be done. And remember, a mental illness is every bit as valid as a physical illness.
- For more ideas, go to 11 Tips to Improve Your Mental Health Right Now
If you’re doing all of these things and you’re still struggling with mental health issues, reach out. There is a difference between “feeling blue” and having a chemical imbalance in your brain. Or experiencing a clinical mental health crisis. Call a supportive friend or family member. Call a mental health professional. If you’re feeling like things are getting out of control or you need help call 1-800-273-8255 or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org to chat online for support 24/7.
Bottom line: Don’t keep it to yourself. There is no reason to EVER feel ashamed or burdensome when it comes to getting help with your mental health.
You’re not alone, I promise you.
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3. Declutter Your Room/Home/Office
I am, by default, disorganized at best. I’ve always struggled to keep my environment clean.
When I have ANYTHING else going on in my life, being tidy and organized falls by the wayside. I’ve always had “The Chair” that I pile about 20 pounds of clean laundry on and scavenge through every morning when I’m scrambling to get dressed.
I never realized how much my cluttered spaces were impacting my well-being until I started making it a priority to keep things decluttered and organized. (Most of this motivation came from reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo).
Think about how much unnecessary stress we cause ourselves by seeing stuff piled up everywhere we look. By tripping over shoes or other items we leave around the house. By having dozens or even hundreds of items that we never use and don’t even want clogging up our homes.
Think of how much time we waste trying to find our glasses, keys, wallets, matching pairs of socks (seriously, what are the odds that out of 30 individual socks in the basket, there’s not a single match when you need one!?), etc.
When there are dirty dishes piling up, dog hair that needs to be vacuumed, and laundry in various degrees of needing washing/folding/hanging, I know I have a hard time focusing on anything except clearing those things out of my way (and out of my mind). And I’d wager you do too.
It is AMAZING how much a clean, organized space can improve your mental clarity and make you feel at peace.
When you clean up your physical environment you will:
- Always know where your important things are (and save precious time),
- Feel at ease with the openness of your surroundings, and
- Be able to sit in “The Chair” because it’s finally clear of clothing and available to be used for its true purpose.
You won’t even have to worry anymore about rescuing a matching pair of socks from the abyss.
If you’re anything like me, you fret a lot about things that you can’t control in your life. But this is one thing that you absolutely can control. Decluttering is a no-brainer when it comes to “getting your life together.” Give it a try!
4. Try Thinking More Positively
When you have a million tabs open in your brain, and you’re constantly thinking troubling, stressful or negative thoughts, it’s hard to feel like you have it together. Controlling my thoughts has always been a challenge. I have to work on rewiring my brain to think more productive thoughts every single day.
I write more in-depth about rewiring your brain in How to Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts (Even When It Seems Impossible) here, but the gist of the process is:
- Notice your thoughts and pay attention when they’re not productive,
- Reframe your thoughts in a more positive way (see strategies for doing so here),
- If you can’t believe your positive thoughts, ask yourself questions instead,
- Give others the benefit of the doubt, and
- Try not to take things personally,
Everything starts within you. That’s why it’s so important to work on thinking more positive, productive thoughts when you’re getting your life together.
5. Limit Negative Media
Piggybacking off of the last tip, it’s also helpful to limit what you expose your mind to throughout your day when you’re trying to make forward progress or get out of a rut. This means reducing the amount of negative media you ingest.
This is a tough one for me because I happen to love a lot of pretty negative things. I love Game of Thrones (well, until the final season), I love murder-mysteries and thrillers, I indulge in music that makes me cry, I compulsively refresh my news page even when the headlines stress me out or make me sad.
It’s so common for entertainment and social media to be stressful, dark, and depressing in today’s world – even children’s movies by Disney have taken darker, more serious turns.
And I don’t think we’re totally conscious of how much this affects our mood, our thoughts, and our lives.
Obviously, as informed citizens, we want to know what’s going on in our country and the world. But is it really necessary to consume the amount of news and negative media that we do? You can remain informed by glancing at headlines for the day and only clicking on (or further reading into) the ones that are essential to learn more about.
Your environment, including the media you ingest, has a direct impact on your overall positivity and outlook. So why not try to consume more of what makes you happy?
For at least one week, try completely cutting out negative media. This means books, tv, movies, podcasts, music, news articles, and social media. Anything that is depressing, violent, negatively nostalgic, or makes you feel “bad” for whatever reason.
I tried doing this for two weeks and it was astonishing how much happier I felt when I was only exposed to positive or more neutral media (shocking, right?).
I understand that it’s not realistic to cut out every single negative form of information or entertainment for the rest of your life, but you will be surprised how much better you feel about your life when you limit your exposure to depressing/violent/upsetting media.
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6. Learn a Bit About Personal Finance and Get Your Money in Order
Feeling better about your financial situation is essential to getting your life together.
I’ve never considered myself an expert on finance. Case in point, I came out of law school with over $160,000 worth of debt (read my Student Loan Debt Story here).
I had NO IDEA what I was doing when I started taking out loans for college and law school. I lived in blissful ignorance throughout my post-graduate career, I survived off of the “excess” cash I had from student loan refunds, and I spent money on frivolous things that I didn’t even enjoy.
I did not understand the gravity of my debt until my first loan bill came due – $1,700 for a monthly payment! I felt so overwhelmed and helpless. After months of anxiety and agonizing thoughts, I finally came to terms with my debt.
I wanted to feel in control of my life, so I started to get my finances in order. This meant getting educated on personal finance, a subject that I knew virtually nothing about. I read as many personal finance books and blogs as I could get my hands on, I finally put myself on a budget, and I monitored my spending.
But learning about money and watching your spending isn’t all about depriving yourself and having no fun.
In fact, paying off my debt and having financial goals has been one of the most liberating experiences I’ve ever had. If you can reach financial freedom, you’ll have so much room to focus on goals in all of the other areas in your life!
Take a look at your financial situation, and take steps to get a clear picture of what you have and what you need to make to become financially free. Do you need to pay off debt? (check out 7 Strategies I Used to Pay Off Over $100,000 in Student Loans) Make more money? Save more for retirement?
If you have no clue where to start when it comes to your finances, head over to 5 Simple Tips to Feel Less Stressed About Your Money. Additionally, there tons of free or inexpensive books, blogs, and podcasts that talk about improving your finances. A few of my favorite books about getting your finances in order are:
- You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero,
- Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey,
- I Will Teach You to be Rich by Ramit Sethi, and
Take the first step, even if it’s a small one, to get a handle on your money. You will feel so much better about your life!
7. Exercise and Eat Right
Ok, I know you see this everywhere you look, but that’s because it works.
Moving your body, eating the right food and going outside are the most effective, yet often most overlooked, pathways to feeling good in life both mentally and physically.
When I’m feeling sluggish or cranky or apathetic, it’s usually because I’ve stopped working out or running for a few days (or weeks). When I get off the couch and exercise, I feel 1,000 times better! And I always ask myself why I ever stop exercising in the first place.
You don’t have to run a marathon, just get up and do something. Get outside, even if it’s just for a short walk. Cut down on junk food. You don’t have to deprive yourself, just be a little more conscious about making healthier choices each day.
Your body and your mind will thank you!
8. Look at Your “Escape” Habits
When people think of addiction, or using something as an escape, they often cite drugs or alcohol as examples.
But many of us have addictions that consume us in other areas of life like:
- Constantly checking our phones,
- Overeating,
- Binge-watching tv or playing video games for hours on end,
- Obsessively thinking toxic thoughts, or
- Doing any number of activities that allow us to “take the edge off” or escape reality for a while.
Do you notice yourself doing any of these things? It’s important to look at your escape habits to get your life together for several reasons.
- Focusing on why you’re trying to escape can give you insight on things in your life that need more attention;
- Knowing your escape mechanisms can help you choose healthier, more productive habits when you feel stress or other negative feelings; and
- A lot of these habits take up TONS of time in your day, so recognizing them can help you limit how much time you invest in them and to allocate more time for your other goals. See How to Create More Time in Your Day for more tips.
Most of us could use a little more mindfulness in our lives. Being present is essential to getting back on track and accomplishing your goals.
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9. Invest in Yourself
Continue to learn about improving your life and invest in things (memberships, courses, books, coaches) that help you become who you want to be.
Read, listen to podcasts, or watch videos about the specific area of life you’d like to develop most. Focus on that area until you’ve accomplished your goals, then move onto the next.
10. If You’re in a Bad Situation, Get Out!
Whether it’s a job you hate, a relationship that’s hurting you or any other environment that doesn’t promote your wellbeing – just get out of it.
Life is too short to spend another day in misery, or in boredom, or in complacency.
Don’t waste your time with people, jobs, or other things that do not serve you.
This sounds like a cliché, but it’s not.
Opportunities in life are literally endless, and you truly have the choice to do absolutely whatever you want. Don’t overthink it, just make the change!
Final Note
I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed in life and to keep repeating unfulfilling days over and over – it’s not a good feeling.
Hopefully, implementing even just a few of these tips will help you “get your life together” and start making progress towards your dream life.